1. Feel the feelings, but keep on living
Newsflash (or, rather, something I’ve spent YEARS learning), I can feel my feelings and not let them rule my life.
I can feel completely unmotivated and still get shit done. I can feel sad and still do good work with my clients. I can feel anxious and still sit down to do the writing I promised myself I’d do. I can feel angry and still be kind.
My small, scared self wants to let my feelings run my life. My BIGNESS, my big-girl-panties-on self knows that I decide how my life goes, not my feelings.
2. Give the “shoulds” the boot
I spent nearly a year making myself attend business networking meetings because that’s what I had been told over and over was what I “had to “ and “should do” to increase my counseling practice.
I hated networking meetings. Don’t get me wrong, I did meet a number of amazing people and I am grateful for that. The meetings themselves, however, blegh. Totally and completely NOT my thing.
And, big surprise, I got absolutely no benefit to my business despite all the meetings I attended and business cards I handed out.
3. Screw the rules and just be me
So, no networking meetings for me. And once I gave myself permission to give them up and just strengthen connections with those I already adored?
HUGE business boom! I have no explanation as to exactly how and why, but suddenly clients and referrals were coming out of nowhere and I doubled my business in 2 months.
What feels good and right to me doesn’t always make logical sense. It just works….especially when I make space for new awesomeness by booting my “shoulds” out the door!
4. Peeps are priceless
If it hadn’t been for the love, support, encouragement, and gentle ass-kicking of my truly stellar friends and family this year, I’m pretty sure I’d have given up on myself a hundred times. I’m almost positive I’d be a lot less sane.
I’ve finally gotten it through my stubborn head that trying to “go at it alone” is just plain stupid. That doesn’t benefit me, my clients, or anyone else.
Mostly, it just makes me cranky!
I could lose every single piece of material goods that I own, but as long as I have my peeps behind me? I’m the richest woman around.
5. Slow doesn’t mean failure.
Basically everything takes longer than I think it’s going to. Getting my business where I want it, writing my book, strengthening my body, changing habits and default patterns.
I think, eh, 3 months. Surely, that’s all I need. Ha! How about 6 instead? Or 9? Or longer?
Patience is not my strongest trait. But I’ve come to appreciate delayed gratification – and the realization that the process is always perfect, even if slower than I’d like.
It always works out eventually. And if not, something else always appears to take its place – something even better.
6. Holy shit, when did that happen?!
On the other hand, life can take an unexpected turn and have success smashing through your door all sudden like out of nowhere.
I’m still not sure exactly what switch I flipped inside that had a sudden stream of referrals and new clients flooding in this August but it sure was fun! I couldn’t replicate it if I tried because I don’t know how I did it!
I’m just grateful when life shows up – whether it means I have to trust the process that feels slower than I’d like or I get to enjoy a fast and speedy ride. Or perhaps the wild ride is just a result of trusting the process.
7. Fear is a molehill, not a mountain
Mostly, fear is a mildly annoying habit. It doesn’t really do anything…well, unless I have come across a bear in the woods or am about to venture down a dark city alley at night. Then fear is rather helpful.
But mostly fear is just a bunch of yammering in my head of doubts and insecurities and stories that have no real basis in reality. Fear is NOT a very good indicator of what I can actually do or accomplish.
Unless you’re sitting 4 inches from the screen, fear is just white noise from a faulty old TV set.
Get up, turn around, and get on with things.
To be continued on 1/5/15…. 🙂