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This past year has been tough. Amazing in a lot of ways, but also challenging. A little over a year ago, I uprooted my life, left my beautiful and supportive community of friends and moved across the country. It was absolutely the right decision for me and much of it has been wonderful, but it’s […]
The thing I dislike most about grief? I can be having the best day, and then out of the blue, something will strike me in just the right way and I’m a sobbing mess. A random thought that drifts across my mind and everything stops. She should be 14. It blows my mind that in a […]
Courageous Mama who has lost so much – I see your pain. Though you may present the world with a smiling face and statements of “I’m fine,” I still see the broken and battered heart you carry. The heart broken by the devastating loss of your precious child. I see how you cry. I see […]
Next month should be my daughter’s 14th birthday. Fourteen years without her. 14 years without her father. Nearly 8 years without her sister. It seems unreal that it has been so long, too often it still feels like yesterday. I created a pretty damn good life since the loss of them. I love being a therapist […]
Today I found myself shoveling an entire carton of chocolate peanut butter ice cream into my mouth. I followed that up with pizza. Now, I’m not at all opposed to enjoying some good ice cream. Or pizza. The problem was I wasn’t enjoying it. It was comfort food. Or rather, to be more honest, avoidance […]
When someone you love has experienced the loss of a child, it’s hard on everyone. They are engulfed in a sea of unbearable pain and grief and sorrow while you may be struggling to stand beside them, wondering what to say, what to do, and what they need. You love them dearly, but you don’t […]
To my beautiful daughter, I was thinking of you today. But the truth is, there isn’t a day that goes by in which I don’t think of you. Although this world cannot see you, and I cannot touch or hold you in it, you are here. The beauty that is you walks beside me through […]
I have spent the last year on warp speed. About this time last year, I decided I wanted to move to Vermont. 3 weeks later I was visiting, interviewing for jobs and searching for an apartment. 3 weeks after that I had moved and started my new job. Since then I’ve worked my arse off, […]
When my fiancé died, I thought I knew grief. His death was devastating and agonizing. Every part of me yearned for him and every part of my being throbbed with the painful knowledge that he would never again hold me or make me laugh or smile at me from across the room. He was my […]
My friends, I am tired. I’ve been wrestling lately with my writing. I struggle with sharing the brutal honesty of what it’s like to live with this grief after the loss of a partner and children. Generally speaking, people don’t like the brutal honesty of it. They much prefer a sugar-coated journey from grief to […]
