April always brings up mixed emotions for me – it’s usually when Spring comes into full bloom and I adore springtime. It has a wonderful sense of new beginnings and possibility and abundance that I love.
April is also the month that holds my daughter’s birthday, a birthday she never got to see and so it also comes with a bittersweet ache and longing.
It’s a season of dichotomy for me. A time of both/and instead of either/or. Happiness and gratitude along with sadness and grief. The energy of possibility and the tiredness of grief. Excitement for new beginnings and a profound missing of what was or could have been.
I’ve been thinking a lot lately about either/or. Happy or sad. Love or fear. Movement or stillness. Quiet or noise. Forward or backward. One or the other.
It would be easier of life was black and white with either/or. However, we are humans. And as humans we are amazingly complex beings. So, I just can’t quite get myself to buy into simply either/or.
I believe in both/and.
I believe we can feel both happy and sad. Experience love and fear. Move and be still. Have quiet in the noise. Go forward and backward. Have one and the other.
All at the same time.
Life is a complex, rich, and ever shifting array of experiences. Trying to limit ourselves to either/or experiences is painful and confusing and, well, doesn’t work.
Embracing the dichotomy can be challenging and, at times, feel overwhelming. And shades of gray give texture and depth and richness to life. Shades of gray make life interesting and dynamic.
Are you trying to live in black and white? Or are you dancing in the shades of gray?