It has been an….interesting week.
I ended last week by getting rear-ended. Again. For the third time in two years. My poor car is getting rather tired of getting beat up. And I’m rather tired of dealing with the hassle and time spent of getting her re-beautified.
But, me being me, I took this as an opportunity to learn something, because I believe we can learn something from any life experience.
So, what to learn from 3 rear-endings in 2 years? Well, apparently there’s a lot of things I could learn from that!
What knocked me upside the head, however, was this:
“What are you not seeing because you are so busy rushing your way through life?”
Because it’s true. I tend to be a wee bit impatient. Basically all the time! I’m usually running full speed ahead, rushing from one thing to the next.
Well, in my world, what I’ve experienced is that rushing usually means avoidance of some kind. And avoidance usually means there’s some kind of sneaky fear hanging around. Then the question became, “What am I afraid of?”
The answer that popped up surprised me (and made me cry!).
“I have to do everything NOW before it all gets taken away again.”
Well, shit. Who knew that fear was hanging out in my head? It makes sense in an intellectual kind of way given that I’ve had several friends, my fiancé, and my two children die in sudden and traumatic ways. My fiancé and our daughter’s deaths so close together especially felt like everything was “taken away” from me.
So, yes, I can understand where that fear has come from…and I know that this fearful thought isn’t particularly helpful to living and enjoying life now.
What I realized was that while I love my life, lately, I’ve been so busy rushing forward from this to that and onward that I haven’t really been enjoying life.
I hadn’t been hiking in weeks (maybe months?).
I hadn’t had a Harry Potter movie marathon in ages.
I hadn’t been spending as much time with my friends and favorite people.
I was always tired.
I constantly felt like there wasn’t enough time to get to everything.
I was feeling more and more disconnected from the people in my life.
I was doing many things that I loved such as writing and creating and clients, but I wasn’t savoring life. I wasn’t paying attention to the little pleasures of life. We are well into summer and I feel like I missed half of springtime (my favorite season).
So, this week I’ve been being more mindful of noticing the world around me. I’ve been looking up to enjoy the beauty of nature around me. I’ve gotten out on several hikes. I’ve made a point to connect with some of my friends.
I took a deep breath and mentally slowed down.
I’m still working hard and accomplishing just as much as I have been up until this week. I’m just also savoring life more as I’m working. I’m taking pleasure in the little bits of life in and around my work.
It feels so much better. My body feel better. My mind feels calmer. My heart feels happier.
How about you? Are you rushing through life?
Are you remembering to savor and take pleasure in the moments of living?