When I was grieving the losses of my fiance and daughter, I found there seemed to be a lot of shoulds.
This is what grief should look like.
That was how I should feel after X number of years.
This is what I should do to find closure and “get over it.”
Blah. Should is a myth. Especially around loss and change. I say screw the shoulds.
There is no right or wrong way to grieve any loss. There is only your way. Your way is perfect and right. Your heart will lead your way – and it always leads you home.
If your heart says you need a day in your pajamas away from the world – stay in your damn pajamas all day.
If your heart says to dance the grief and loss and fear and pain out – dance until your feet ache. Then dance some more.
If your heart says to weep and wail and sob – let it loose and weep and wail and sob.
If your heart says it needs laughter and light and play – let it be ok to step out of the dark to laugh and play.
Don’t should on yourself. It only makes things worse.