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Seek Love. And Let Go.

letting goLetting go feels like crap.

Well, it’s really more the process of letting go that feels painful and uncomfortable. The moment of release itself – and after – feel freeing and amazing.

Generally speaking, the process of letting go has not, for me, been an easy one. I hold onto people, ideas, and relationships why longer than is beneficial to me. I don’t like saying good-bye. Not at all.

And I really, really don’t like saying goodbye to a person or relationship with someone when that person will, for various reasons, still remain present in my life.

I’m going through this process now with someone who used to be a close friend and, for months now, has been more of a friendly acquaintance I see regularly. I miss our friendship and closeness. I am grieving this change deeply. Because of that, I have tried to hold onto a relationship that has already changed. The friendship I miss no longer exists and holding onto something or someone no longer there freaking hurts like hell.

And because hurting unnecessarily is not particularly fun, I’m in the process of letting go. Bit by bit, step by step.

Here’s the thing though. I’m not really sure how to let go. I don’t know of a (legit) 5-step process to letting go. The process is never the same – no matter how many times I move through it.

Therefore, I’ve fallen back to my old reliable standby.

Love the way through.

Asking myself over and over: How can I love here? Love myself. Love this person. Love the process.

The answer varies. Take a nap. Call a friend. Keep my distance. Cry. Journal. Walk in the woods. Cry some more. Seek gratitude. Walk away. Stand up and move through my day.
Whatever feels like love, that is my process.

Seek love. And let go.

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