11 Sep 2017
I wish I could be there with you now, in person, to hug you and hold you through these darkest of days after the loss of your precious child. I wish that I could sit with you, pour you a cup of comforting hot cocoa or tea, tuck a warm blanket around you and simply be with you while you learn to breath and be in this new world called life after loss.
In a way, that’s what this book is, a way for myself and many other mothers who are living through what you are experiencing now to sit and be with you. We are here holding you close in our hearts as we can’t do with our arms.
It is true that no words and no actions could ever fix what has happened – we cannot bring your precious child(ren) back for you, just as we could not prevent the loss of our own children. Even our fierce and absolute mama love could not save them and that is the unbearable sorrow that we all now live with every day.
I do believe, however, that the words that we share and the ways in which we who grieve reach out and touch each other help. No words or actions can fix our losses, but we can help pull each other through these dark hours of grief and pain. That is what I and every mother in this book are doing – reaching out to help all of us through our darkest hours.
This grief is not a burden that anyone should have to bear alone.
My hope is that this book is something that you can hold onto, in those dark, lonely and desperate moments of grief and pain and loss. This is a book you can open to any page and read the love-filled words of another mama like you who knows the pain of not being able to hold or see or hear the one you love most in the world. A reminder in the midst of grief and tears that you are not alone and you are loved. Because, Mama, you are so very loved.
These words and letters are written from our hearts to yours, from one mother to another. With open arms and big hearts, we welcome you (though we desperately wish we didn’t have to) into our tribe of sisters – the community of mothers who know this unspeakable loss and grief. More importantly than the loss, however, we know the same beautiful, fierce mother love that lives in your heart – deep and abiding love for the child you cannot hold or see or hear yet who lives in your heart each and every moment.
It is my hope that within these pages you will find love and moments of comfort. It is my hope that you will feel, deep down into your bones, that you are not alone and that you are so very loved. It is my hope that you will know without a doubt that your baby and your motherhood matter. It is my hope that you will know that your baby’s life, however brief, has touched this world in irrevocable and valuable ways. It is my hope that this love and these words will help carry you through the darkest moments of your grief and show you glimmers of light in that darkness.
Not every letter will resonate with you. Not every experience shared here will speak to you. But there are many letters here and many different experiences – find the ones that speak to your heart and simply leave the ones that don’t. All are offered with love and compassion and a desire to reach out to another mother who hurts so very much.
I cannot fix this loss and I cannot take away your pain, but will all my hopes and all my love, I offer you this book full of love and letters from our hearts to yours. And if you get nothing else from it, please know this:
You are not alone.
You love and you are loved.
And love never dies.
*excerpt from “From Mother to Mother”