Skip links

What I Wish People Had Said After My Babies Died

You are a mother, now and always.

You did not cause this. You are an amazing mother who did the very best she could. This is not your fault.

You are not alone.

You are allowed to grieve. As much, as long, and however you need to – you are allowed to grieve.

There is no right or wrong way to do this thing called grieving or this thing called mothering after loss. Do what works for you.

Your baby/babies are valued and worthy of remembrance. Their lives mattered, however short or long they were here.

You are not alone.

You don’t have to do this alone. There are others who have been where you are and they can help support you, even when others can’t.

People won’t always know what to say or do, and that means they may say or do things that hurt. It’s not personal and it’s not about you. It sucks and it hurts, but you aren’t doing anything wrong.

There is no timeline for this. Grief is something that becomes part of you, though, one day at least, not all of you. It will ebb and flow over time, but likely you will carry it and your love for your babies for always.

You are not alone.

We are here. Other mothers like you, missing our children. We are here.

You are not alone.


*Originally published on Still Mothers

Join the Discussion

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.