Please Say the Words -Babies Die.
Dead babies. Babies die.
When babies die, we have all sorts of words and phrases to avoid saying the words "baby died" or "dead baby."
Miscarriage.
Stillbirth.
Born still.
Loss.
Pregnancy loss.
The baby passed.
The baby was incompatible with life.
They lost their baby.
Unsuccessful pregnancy.
The baby didn't live.
Infant loss.
The baby didn't make it.
So many words to avoid the painful and uncomfortable reality that sometimes, and far more frequently than we are told, babies die.
It's as if, as a society, we believe that by never saying those two words together, "death + baby," then somehow babies magically won't die.
The truth is, however, that babies do die. By refusing to acknowledge and talk about this fact, thousands of grieving parents are handed even more pain to bear in silence and, I believe, the work that could be happening to prevent more babies from dying isn't happening - because no one wants to look at it.
As a mother to two dead babies, I'm asking you - please, don't be afraid to say these words. Please, don't be afraid to look at, research, and study the death of babies. Please, look at this and try to find a way to prevent other families from having to live my reality.
No one should have to live through the death of their baby. We shouldn't have to ever say "the baby died."
But we need to.