I've been thinking lately about the fact that my first baby, Grace, should be 17 now. 17 years of missing her. When my oldest niece graduated high school in May 2019, I kept thinking, Grace would be doing that in just 2 years. 2 more years and my forever baby would have transitioned from childhood into adulthood. ⁣

Her entire childhood is gone. ⁣

It's more than missing her or feeling as if I missed out on her childhood. ⁣

Her childhood is gone. SHE is missing from it. ⁣

All the milestones and things she would have done. The baby and toddler and child and teenager she would have been. All the memories and ordinary moments and special occasions. All that she would have been never bloomed into existence.⁣

All the friends she would have had, the people she would have dated, the siblings she might have had, the community that would have been hers - she is missing from all of their lives and they will never know. Something beautiful and bright is missing from so many lives and so very few of them even know what they might have had. ⁣

My forever baby should be stretching toward adulthood now, but that life is gone. ⁣

That, my friends, is enormity of losing a baby or child at any stage of their life. A life and love that so many people don't even know is missing from their life. ⁣